I know, it’s scary. Starting a special needs ministry in your church seems like a daunting task. Actually, just knowing how to respond to the special needs community and how to welcome them into your church at all is a little unnerving for some. How do we relate? How should we address behavioral issues? How much do these individuals understand? What would all this look like?
Although these questions in and of themselves are understandable and even healthy to ask, the problem lies in the fact that few churches dare to move beyond these questions. A special needs ministry just seems too involved. The result? Families who have a child with special needs have no place to go. Families just like mine are cut off from the body of Christ. There is no place for us and no place for our children.
There are many reasons why you should NOT welcome my special needs child to your church, but today let’s entertain a different idea. Today, let’s ask the question: what if you DO welcome my special needs child to your church?
Special needs ministry will be messy.
There is no cookie-cutter formula for having a ministry for children who have special needs. What works for one church may or may not work for another. That is because there are no two children alike when it comes to having a disability. There are definitely some common practices used by churches who have successful programs, but if you dare to take on this great and widely ignored mission field, it will be through trial and error that you find your greatest success. Regardless of the make-up of children your church receives, special needs ministry is messy.
You will have days that you are worn, because messiness can be exhausting sometimes. You may have to diaper an older child or assist a seven year old with their snack. You may need to help wipe drool from the chin of a twelve year old or help transfer a child from their wheelchair to a table. There are behaviors and sensory issues you will need to be understanding of. Yes, special needs ministry is messy.
But isn’t this the very thing that we as Christians are called to do? Isn’t this the very standard set for us through the example of Jesus Christ? If the body of Christ does not become the hands and feet of Jesus to the special needs community, if we do not cultivate a true heart for the least of these, if we are not willing to pour ourselves out for those who are unable, then I truly fear we have lost sight of the purpose of the church.
If your church would dare to embrace those with special needs, you will gain a perspective of love and humility you never thought possible. Your church will be stretched and find a deeper sense of family than you could imagine. Just as in most eternal matters, the blessing is worth the mess.
All you need is love, safety, and Jesus.
It’s true that there is no perfect formula for a successful special needs ministry, but I can give you three most important ingredients.
Love
“And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:13 NIV).
Love just might be one of the most powerful tools you could have in a special needs ministry. Love covers a multitude of mess. Love is enough to persevere. Love stands in the gaps when you don’t have the answers or don’t know how to specifically minister to a particular child with special needs. Just love them. See them through the eyes of Jesus. Give value to their life. Recognize them as another human being who deserves dignity and care. This is much more than the world offers children like mine. Get down on their level, look them in the eyes (even if they can’t look back at you), and let them know you care for them. Love is the greatest necessity in a special needs ministry. Our kids are hungry for it!
Safety
As the parent of a child who has special needs, I can tell you first-hand that upon first visiting your church I will not be paying attention to the colorful murals or cool gadgets you have for my child to play with. The very first things that I am looking for have to do with issues of safety. Are there locks on the classroom doors? Are there enough volunteers per child in the room? Does it seem like there is a plan for my child’s class or is this an experience where the children are set on the floor with some toys while the workers anxiously watch the clock and hope no one gets hurt?
I also really want you to ask me about my child. As a first time guest at a church, checking in my child with special needs should not be a quick experience. You need to ask me about my child’s disability, what his likes and dislikes are, what soothes him, what his abilities are, and how you can best serve him while he is in your ministry. This lets me know that you care. This causes me to exhale the nervousness that has been building inside as I leave you with one of my most precious and defenseless treasures.
Jesus
What is it that separates the church from every other institution? Jesus. What is the purpose and passion of the church? Jesus. Who should be at the very center of every single ministry opportunity in your church? Jesus. So why on earth would we ever create a special needs ministry that does not center around Jesus?
Don’t miss this, church! Should you accept the incredible mission of having a special needs ministry, invite Jesus in to every moment of your ministry. This will give your workers purpose. This will give your ministry momentum. Most importantly, you will be sharing Christ with a people group who are hungry for the gospel, for unconditional love, for a message of good news, and who are hungry for hope.
Please, do not pre-determine who is able to be reached by the Holy Spirit. Present Jesus to these children and trust Him to move and work as only He can!
You will fill a family.
Most of us parents of special needs children come to you broken and poured out. We come to you skeptical and we are trying very hard to guard our hearts and the heart of our child, because they’ve been broken before. We come to you worried and wondering if this whole church thing is really going to work. It doesn’t have to be like this, but the world has conditioned us to put up protective walls.
But you see, behind those walls are real people. Some of us have almost forgotten what it is to be a part of a group, to belong, or to be accepted. We miss serving and giving of our own talents. If there was truly a special needs ministry for our child to belong to, maybe we could reattach ourselves to the body of Christ as well. Maybe we could re-learn what it is to serve alongside of a group of believers. Maybe the divorce rate would not be so incredibly high for special needs parents. Maybe the depression and anxiety noted among special needs parents would diminish. What if YOUR church became the place that would fill a family who has a special needs child?
Dear church, I hope you would consider welcoming those into your congregation who have special needs. The truth is, there is a large and widely unreached mission field right here in America. We know it exists, but we are waiting for everyone or anyone else to take up this cause. It will be messy. You will need love, safety, and Jesus.
But I can promise you this, to minister to those who have special needs and to minister to their families will transform the heart of your church. Be prepared. Because it’s often times in our discomfort and awkward obedience to Christ, that His greatest and most magnificent plans take shape. Let it be you. Let it be your church.
